Personal activities Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words

Personal activities - Essay Example The privilege of sharing my passion with the audience only brings me greater joy. If I can inspire even one other individual, I feel it will melt away all my years of toil and endless practices. 2. Apart from your first and second languages, what other languages do you speak and write Baring English and Chinese, which are my first and second languages, respectively, I am currently studying Gaeilge through home study courses. When I first heard Gaeilge spoken I was enthralled with it. I feel its oral beauty, fluidity and woven vocal patterns are unmatched. However, in the future, I also desire to pursue the Spanish and Japanese languages. 3. Do you already have a university course in mind If so, give details. I am yet to ascertain my course of study, though, I am sure to pursue a career in diplomacy. I have varied interests including, but not limited to: finance, economics and world history; however, prior to selecting a major course, I feel it best to explore the possibilities in the direction of my current interests. I am not a scholarship recipient now; however I am applying for a 50% award. Such a scholarship will give me the opportunity to find, explore and fund my own future.

Prevention of Central Line Associated Blood Stream Infections Through Research Paper

Prevention of Central Line Associated Blood Stream Infections Through Education - Research Paper Example CLABSIs have been estimated to occur in the United States hospitals in the range of 250, 000-500, 000 cases annually. This has resulted in high costs of care for patients who have been hospitalized. The need to cut down the costs associated with CLABSIs resulted in research aimed at developing a feasible solution. Research has yielded a mechanism that will see nurses educated on best practices that will them take an active role in the prevention of CLABSIs. This paper will focus on implementation of a plan to prevent central line associated blood stream infections by way of educating nurses. Problem Identification and Importance According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), every year an estimated 41,000 Central line associated blood stream infections occur in hospitals in U.S. The infections are typically serious and result in protracted stay in hospitals with increased costs. These infections also come with an increased risk of mortality (CDC, 2012). CLABSI (central line assoc iated blood stream infections) are typically prevented by proper management of the central line. CLABSIs are considered to be part of healthcare associated infections (HAIs) and have been reported to responsible for mortality ranging from 12-15%. In a study conducted by CDC, the findings revealed that approximately 43,000 CLABSIs occurred in hospitalized patients in ICU in U.S hospitals. There was a reduction in the number of CLABSIs by approximately 18000 in the year 2009. CLABSIs resulting from Staphyloccocus aureus represented the greatest decrease than even the gram negative rods like Candida spp and Enterococcus spp. In the same year, 23,000 CLABSIs occurred among inpatient individuals in the inpatient wards of U.S hospitals. In the year 2008, approximately 37, 000 CLABSIs occurred in outpatient clients receiving outpatient hemodialysis (CDC, 2011). These statistics serve to underscore the importance of CLABSIs in U.S hospitals. CLABSIs have resulted in an increased cost of med ical treatment. Hospitalized persons are paying huge amounts of money for their medical costs (Moe, 2012). It is this CLABSI associated costs that created a need for research activities that would see the CLABSIs kept to a minimum. The research activities have resulted in current evidence based guidelines that when executed, the incidence of CLABSIs will reduce. The mechanism requires that nurses be educated on prevention of CLABSIs. CLABSIs are not only responsible for high medical cost but are also responsible for morbidity and mortality in pediatric and neonatal intensive care units (Bizzarro, 2011). According to Bizzaro (2011), although implementation of evidence based catheter care bundles has reduced the infection rates, CLABSIs remain a fundamental problem in the pediatric and neonatal critical care units. CLABSIs are responsible for both pediatric, neonatal and adult morbidity and mortality in U.S citizens. Costs According to a study conducted by Shannon, et al (2006), the i nfections that are acquired while in hospital add considerable mortality and morbidity to patient care. A detailed economic analysis of the hospital expenses and revenues in 54 patient cases who had contracted central line associated blood stream infections over a period of three years in two intensive care units was conducted. The financial data was compared to data of other patients who were of

Preventing Denture Stomatitis

Preventing Denture Stomatitis Ghani F and colleages20 did a study on 50 denture wearers and 50 non denture wearers assessing candida activity through recording pH changes in candida selective medium. Results showed pathological candida activity was significantly higher in denture wearers. While in a study by Yilmaz HH78 27 patients with denture stomatitis and 23 patients without clinical signs of denture stomatitis were compared. They found that there was a relationship between poor denture hygiene and denture stomatitis and the relationship between denture stomatitis and candidal hyphae was not significant. Therefore proper hygiene is important to prevent denture stomatitis and antifungal drugs should not be prescribed without mycological investigation. Opportunistic growth of pathogenic yeasts such as candida is promoted by constant denture wearing which maintains anaerobic and low pH conditions between the denture and mucosa.18. It was revealed in different studies that nearly one third of the patients evaluated slept with their dentures 19,22,89. Similarly other studies have found significant association between denture related stomatitis with denture age and continuous denture wearing88 moreover candida albicans hyphae and lactobacillus was also found in the saliva and palate of denture stomatitis patients89 SURFACE TEXTURE AND PERMEABILITY OF DENTURE BASE: Highly polished surfaces are important not only for aesthetics and patient's comfort but also for low plaque adherence, oral hygiene and denture longevity84. In an in vitro study Van Reenen79 demonstrated that penetration of the unpolished surface which is in contact with the mucosa with candida albicans was greater than that of polished surface. It was confirmed further with the use of fluorescent dye. Another study18 confirmed that surface roughness and cracks facilitate development of biofilm and adherence of plaque. The authors also noted that prolonged brushing of acrylic denture with toothbrush and abrasive dentrifices create scratches that can enhance bacterial attachment and biofilm growth22. DENTURE LINING MATERIALS AND ADHESIVES: In a study by Sato Y and colleagues90 it was found that denture adhesives enhance retention and stability of both ill fitting and well fitting dentures. AL et al 91 suggested that denture adhesives contribute to mucosal inflammation in denture wearers as they are commonly used throughout the day. While in an assessment of 24 denture wearing patients Oliveira and colleagues92 evaluated the number of colony forming units(CFUs) and Candida species in saliva samples which were collected at denture placement, 7 day and 14 day intervals from patients using an adhesive denture strip. 12 patients using the adhesive were compared with 12 patients not using the adhesive. There was no statistical difference between the groups at the 2 weeks analysis. MANAGEMENT OF DENTURE STOMATITIS: Placebo-controlled studies reported that treatment with either oral fluconazole (50mg/day for 2 weeks) or topical miconazole (2% gel applied to fitting surface of the denture 3 times daily for 2 weeks) significantly reduced the presence of candida on oral mucosa and decreased inflammation in denture stomatitis93 . Cross LJ et al94 reported capsule and liquid formulations of itraconazole ( 100 mg 4 times a day for 15 days), fluconazole alone ( 50 mg orally for 14 days) or in combination with chlorhexidine applied to fitting surface of the denture 2 times a day for 2 weeks and amphotericin ( 40mg oral dissolving lozenges 4 times daily and topical cream applied to fitting surface of denture) all to be effective in the treatment of denture stomatitis. In a study by Mililla L et al95 amorophiline antifungal varnish was applied once or twice a week for 6 months in patients affected by nystatin resistant denture stomatitis. Results showed significant decrease in candidal count and improvement in symptoms of denture stomatitis. In a study photodynamic therapy was found to be an effective method for resolving candida spp. on dentures96 In a study by Webb et al97 nursing home patients with denture stomatitis were randomized to maintain their usual hygiene procedures or had their dentures cleaned daily with overnight soaking in sodium hypochlorite and microwaving. Relative to control group both cleaning techniques showed 100% reduction in candida colonization and clinical improvement in denture stomatitis. In another study 10% vinegar solution was used for the immersion of dentures and was found to be effective in decreasing the quantity of candida spp in saliva and the presence of denture stomatitis 98 . Cryosurgery is the treatment of choice in patients with Type III denture stomatitis along with prosthesis substitution34. POST INSERTION INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING MAINTENANCE OF THE PROSTHESIS: To decrease the levels of biofilm and harmful micro organisms , patients who wear dentures must do the following: Dentures must be immersed and brushed with an effective and non abrasive denture cleanser everyday18. Denture cleanser must only be used to clean dentures outside the mouth62. Dentures must be rinsed thoroughly after immersion and brushing with denture cleansing solution before reinsertion in the oral cavity16. Dentures should be cleaned annually by a dentist using ultrasonic cleanser to minimize biofilm coverage overtime27. Dentures must never be placed in boiling water77. Dentures must never be soaked in sodium hypochlorite bleach for periods greater than 10 minutes because it may damage the dentures28. Dentures should be immersed in water after cleaning, when not inserted in oral cavity to avoid warping16. MECHANICAL METHODS OF DENTURE CLEANING: Brushing with tooth brush, denture brush and pastes: Scanning electron microscopic images and microbiologic essays have demonstrated that cleaning the dentures with water and tooth brushes is ineffective at removing microorganisms62. While in a study by Nishi Y and colleagues 25 it was found that the quantity of micro organisms was significantly reduced in the outpatients who used a denture brush for cleaning the prosthesis. Salles AES and Macedo LD99 found in a study that brushing with a denture paste|(Corega Brite) was the most effective method of disinfecting dentures followed by brushing with neutral soap and brushing with water only was the least effective method. It was found by Lira AF et al100 that tooth brushing promoted higher levels of surface roughness when compared to chemical disinfection while boiled resins were found to be more prone to surface roughness and biofilm accumulation than microwaved resins. Pisani MX and Bruhn JP et al101 analyzed surface roughness and weight loss in acrylic caused by dentrifices. They found that the conventional dentrifice containing sodium bicarbonate produced greatest weight loss and surface roughness while dentrifices containing chloramine T and fluorosurfactant produced less weight loss and surface roughness. While in another study it was found that dentrifices containing 1% chloramine T and 0.01% fluorosurfactant decreased biofilm coverage but were ineffective against candida102. Ultrasonic cleaning: Ultrasonic devices are helpful in removing the plaque adhering to dentures by producing microscopic cavities that grow and burst creating voids that result in localized areas of suction 16. Gwinnet et al103 showed in different ways effective disinfection of inoculated dentures using ultrasonic treatment in a water bath as well as in various baths of antiseptic and detergent agents. In another study it was found that ultrasonic cleaning when combined with immersion in a peroxide based cleanser solution effectively reduces the quantity of micro organisms surviving on dentures25. Hence may be a suitable method for elderly who find brushing their dentures difficult. Studies have found that ultrasonic cleaning is not completely bactericidal but improves the killing of bacteria16. Chemical Methods: Soaking in household solution: Sodium hypochlorite diluted 1:10 in tap water is adequate for killing adherent micro organisms but is ineffective against calculus buildup and stains. Metallic elements in the denture acquire a black stain after soaking in bleach for greater than 10 minutes daily62 In a study done by Dr. Roshan Khan 5.25% sodium hypochlorite was more effective in disinfecting dentures as compared to 0.2% chlorhexidine at a 5 minute immersion period28. Surface roughness was evaluated by Paranhos HDO et al64 and they found that immersing the acrylic resin denture in 0.5% sodium hypochlorite solution every night for more than a year and a half resulted in increased surface roughness while no effect was noted regarding the flexural strength of the acrylic. A major issue in immuno compromised and hospitalized patients is the emergence of methicillin resistant staphylococcus aureus(MRSA) which increases mortality rates significantly 16. Lee and colleagues104 showed that MRSA can be killed effectively with sodium hypochlorite. The use of vinegar (acetic acid) was evaluated by Basson et al105 and they found it effective at killing adherent micro organisms albeit less effective than sodium hypochlorite. Vinegar has an advantage over bleach and it is that inadequate rinsing after soaking in vinegar does not result in mucosal damage. In another study vinegar alone is found to be least effective at removing denture plaque but when used in combination with brushing its results were comparable with those of denture cleansers24 Soaking in a commercial solution: Immersing the dentures in denture cleansers reduces the micro organisms and plaque and is found to be a suitable method for denture cleansing specially for geriatric patients106. It was found that soaking in alkaline peroxide every night for more than a year resulted in color alteration of the resin64. In a study it was found that the combination of brushing and peroxide cleansers was the most efficacious method to remove denture plaque24. It was found in a study by de Andrade IM and colleagues107 that the effervescent tablets are effective in reducing streptococci mutans and total aerobes from denture biofilm. However, they were not as effective against C. albicans Mc Cabe and colleagues108 reported that effects of alkaline peroxide solution were enhanced using water at a temperature of 50 centigrade. In a study done to investigate the relationship between the frequency of use of denture cleanser and the quantity of micro organisms adhering to dentures it was found that patients who used denture cleansers daily or 3-4 times a week had significantly lower amount of micro organisms than the patients who used the denture cleanser once or less per month25. While in a study by Jose A and colleagues23 it was concluded that denture cleansers were effective against Candida albicans activity both in terms of removal and disinfection but residual biofilm retention that could lead to re growth and denture colonization was seen. Hence alternate mechanical cleaning methods are required to enhance biofilm removal.. New materials for denture immersion contain silicon polymer that provides a protective coating on denture as a final step in cleaning process. Coating helps to minimize adhesion of debris throughout the day until the next cleaning27. MICROWAVE RADIATION Effectiveness of microwaving depends on solution in which the dentures are immersed, the time of exposure, the level of power of microwave oven and the types of micro organisms adhering the denture109. Senno P and colleagues110 found that putting the dentures in denture cleanser and then microwaving was efficient in disinfecting dentures with lower irradiation time and temperature than the use of microwave irradiation alone therefore avoiding denture distortion. While in another study it was concluded that immersing the denture in a cup of water to transfer heat uniformly during microwave sterilization was more effective111. While Kaskin et al112 showed that independent of solution used irradiation for 15 minutes at 500 watt achieved complete sterilization of acrylic resin base materials contaminated by Staphylococcus aureus, Escherichia coli, candida albicans and streptococcus mutans. It was concluded by Brondani MA et al109 that irradiation time above 15minutes and voltage greater than 850 watts may cause distortion and surface roughness of the denture while not affecting the hardness of the material. While in another study 50 seconds of exposure at 850 watt seemed to be sufficient to disinfect the acrylic denture without any adverse effect on the material113. ALTERNATE DENTURE CLEANSING METHODS: Chlorhexidine destroys bacteria by breaking their membranes and inducing cytoplasmic precipitation114. In a study by de Andrade IM and colleagues 107 60 CD wearers participated in a trial for 21 days after getting brushing instructions. They found that the biofilm coverage area after treatment with immersion in 2% chlorhexidine for 5 minutes was the lowest when compared to immersion in water and in 0.12% chlorhexdine for 20 minutes. While in a study by Uludamar A and colleagues26 it was found that patients whose upper dentures were sprayed with mouthwashes on palatal surface showed decreased candida count when compared to patients who used effervescent type denture cleansers for soaking and cleaning. It can be concluded that mouthwashes can be used as effective denture disinfectants. Tissue cleansing and massage is often neglected part of complete denture care. Brushing the tongue and residual ridges will improve the circulation and remove plaque and debris that may cause irritation of soft tissue and offensive odors 115. In a study by Marchini L116 it was found that 68% of the complete denture wearers didn't clean their tongue. PERIODIC RECALL FOR ORAL EXAMINATION: Patient recall must be a tool to help prevention, allow early intervention and ensure long term dental health117. In a study by Peracini A 51`% of the patients interviewed were not informed about their recall visits.118 An evidence based, patient centered approach taking into account multiple risk categories must be implemented in designing recall visits.119 The American College of Prosthodontists recommends that patients wearing complete dentures must be checked every year for assessment of oral health status, denture fit and function and for evaluation of bone loss as well as oral lesions such as denture stomatitis 16. This recommendation is based on the evidence regarding the relationship between proper complete denture oral hygiene and overall systemic health particularly in dependant elderly45.

Fixed or Variable Cost Essay -- cost, business,

Cost can be divided into fixed and variable and by considering into fact that fixed and variable cost can be unarguably split into two, even though they behave differently based on the level of sales of volumes. Since, cost is used in every field to determine the price of an item and the unit sold. Two of the main components of cost are fixed and variable cost and is used to differentiate between the costs that have no direct correlation to business and those that do. Definition:- Fixed cost is not affected by the changes in the sales, they have slight relationship to the business and they do not change considerably when the sale increase or decrease. Fixed cost is set for particular period of time and changes occur during the specific time. Since, fixed cost does not change directly some of the examples of fixed cost are insurance premium, real estate taxes etc. For example, ‘an increase in the cost of insurance premiums may be attributable to an insurance company’s perception of increased risk associated with higher volume. Even though the increase in insurance cost is somehow related to an increase in volume, the cost of insurance is still considered a fixed cost’ (Tiffin, 2007). Other component of cost is variable cost changes frequently do not haves specific set period. Variable costs can be aptly defined as," which increase directly in proportion to the level of sales in dollars or units sold†. Depending on the type of busines s, some examples would be cost of goods sold, sales commissions, shipping charges, delivery charges, and costs of direct materials or supplies, wages of part-time or temporary employees, and sales or production bonuses. Both fixed and variable cost elements are components of mixed or semi-vari... ...the equation for a straight line as follows: Y = $3,400 + $0.80X Hence the above example shows that costs can be determined as either fixed or variable even in a semi variable cost. In conclusion cost can be divided into two to find the exact amount of sale of an item sold and purchased by the customer. All fixed cost can be variable cost since, variable cost change often. Reference †¢ Tiffin, R., (2007) Finance and Accounting Desktop Guide: Accounting Literacy for the Non-financial Manager 2nd ed., London Thorogood. †¢ Hansen, D., Mowen, M., & Guan, L., Cost Management: Accounting & Control 6th ed., Mason, Ohio: South-Western †¢ Dittmer, P. & Keefe, D., (2009) Principles of Food, Beverage and Labor Cost Controls 9th ed., Hoboken, N.J John Wiley & Sons, Inc. (US). †¢ Weetman, P. (2006) Management Accounting, FT/Prentice Hall (Pearson Education)

Napoleon

Napoleon I was born on the French island of Corsica on the 15th of August 1769. Trained in the art of war at military academies in France, little did his supervisors know at that time that one day, this young officer was going to rise up the ranks in the army to become a General, play an important part in the French Revolution by being at the forefront of effective military operations against the First & Second Coalitions, then overthrow the same revolutionary government he helped install (1799), rule over France as First Consul and then Emperor(1804-1815) and by cleverly crafted wars and political alignments, hold offices and titles as diverse, but equally powerful, as   King of Italy, Mediator of the Swiss Confederation and Protector of the Confederation of the Rhine, thus effectively becoming the master of much of Mainland Europe. His military and political actions entailed significant influence on European History for years to come. [1] Following expansionary policies, from 1800-1810, the French armed forces were engaged in pitched battles against and/or in the whole of Europe. Napoleon's military and political prowess earned him a dominating influence over much of mainland Europe. His tactful masterpieces at Austerlitz and Friedland established his military power and forced alliances with weaker states, unwilling to stand up to the fury of his armies. He further consolidated his position by installing members of his family and close associates as the rulers of all states under French influence, with himself as supreme commander. [2] However, Napoleon's success story was halted by the catastrophic expedition sent to conquer Russia in 1812. He was out smarted by the retreating Russians and when he ordered a retreat following the conquest of Moscow, he ensured the destruction beyond resurrection of his own Grande Armà ©e. The powers that formed the Sixth Coalition inflicted on him another resounding defeat at Leipzig in 1813, and subsequently stepped foot on French soil. Surrounded by the invading armies, Napoleon vacated office in April 1814, and was forcefully exiled   to the island of Elba. However, refusing to admit defeat, he returned to France, established himself as ruler and proceeded to fight against his foes. However, his endeavors had limited success and he was finally defeated at the battle of Waterloo on 18 June 1815. He was exiled again to the uninhabited island of St. Helena where he died a quiet man in 1821. [3] Although Napoleon spent a lifetime on the battle field and his military conquests provide ample proof of his intelligence as a general, originality of technique was lacking at his end. He is credited though with the concept of fusing artillery into batteries and rearranging the military hierarchy to ensure that requirement of each core in the army was met adequately. These have become generally accepted principles in modern warfare. To this day, the Napoleonic wars are the subject of scholarly and academic study around the world. History remembers him for his military conquests and for his development of a bureaucratic structure (the Napoleonic Code), still followed in present day French. [4] Effects that Napoleon had on France In my opinion, the Napoleonic era proved healthy for France as Napoleon himself was a populist leader and developed the French armed forces into a mighty military machine. Governing France The French vote largely sided with Napoleon and approved of his actions. By the year 1804, Napoleon had established himself as unrivaled in power and authority in all of France. Realizing that the only way he could continue to consolidate his position was through garnering populist support; he continued the radical reform process while slowly tightening his grip on the political machinery. Although there was no single authority in the French state and all laws were made by an elected National Assembly (the lower house elected, the upper house appointed), Napoleon ensured that the weight age of power remained tilted towards him by choosing friendly elected candidates to the upper tier of the National Assembly. Since all laws were made by the Assemblies, Napoleon had considerable influence on all matters. [5] Napoleonic Code The Napoleonic Code was a law passed by the Napoleon administration that balanced, modernized, restructured, expanded and consolidated many of the previous reforms into a single source document. The code proclaimed the equal standing of all citizens and liberty to practice one's religion of choice and labor mobility. However, some of the driving points of the revolution were left out of this code and in many places the interests of the common man were made subordinate to the interests of the state. Some laws, including those which guaranteed the rights of females and infants/children, were also repealed. [6] French Economy and society Napoleon understood that to finance his war machinery, he needed adequate finances and thus enshrined in law that all citizens pay taxes to the national exchequer. His policies helped reduce the level of inflation and ensured that a more just and equal distribution of income and wealth could be brought about. Thus, he abolished feudalism and introduced land reforms in turn increasing peasant land ownership. Furthermore, he ensured that the peasants were rid of their obligations to the Catholic Church as he settled the differences of the Vatican and the French State. On the other hand, the nobles were given freedom to rule over their respective lands as long as they plead political, economic and military allegiance to Napoleon. Dedication to the French State and its principles of hard and honest work were acknowledged through the introduction of the Legion of Honor (1802) which remains the highest civil and military award in the Modern French State. Changes to education Education also saw attention from Napoleon and soon reform was introduced in this sector too. Government run schools were set up and the curriculum standardized. The schools advocated radical love for the country and the state. The schooling system was divided amongst the primary, secondary, military and technical schools. Although primary education remained more or less the same, the rest of the schooling system advocated discipline, unity and faith along with a strong emphasis on military training. [7] The Catholic Church Napoleon understood that although the people had strong associations with religion, reform was also the need of the hour. Therefore, he tried to find a balance between the enshrined laws of the church and his new laws. In 1801, he signed a Concordat with the Vatican thus ending the long lasting feud between the state and the Catholic Church.   The agreement changed the way Bishops were chosen. Previously elected, they would now be appointed by the French government. No one but the pope would yield influence over them. In return, the Church ended its demand that all material interests taken under custody or destroyed by the revolution be returned or compensated for. [8] Building and roads Napoleon understood that a strong infrastructure would greatly help him in war. Therefore, finances were used in the development of roads, bridges and canals to facilitate the movement of troops and goods from the rural areas to the urban centers. At the same time, to signify his own glory, Paris underwent a huge beautification program under which the existing buildings were renovated, new ones were erected and various monuments were put up to signify the greatness of Napoleon and the revolution. [9] It would be harsh to judge Napoleon as a dictator for it can be inferred that a good number of his measures were aimed at improving the affairs of the common French lot. While many of his measures were unjust, one can argue that they were the need of the hour to protect the revolution and ensure the establishment of a republic. However, his appointment of himself as emperor negates this view. France fought wars on different fronts from 1792 to 1815 in order to ensure the continuity and survival of the revolution, under threat from the armies of other European monarchist powers, afraid that revolution in France would encourage populist uprising in their own empires. Napoleon's skill and expertise ensured that the invading powers were kept at bay for as long as possible given the inherent limitations of any country. At its peak, the French empire spanned the whole of Mainland Europe. The whole area, from the shores of the Atlantic Ocean to the very borders of Russia was controlled by Paris. Moreover, Napoleon exported the ideology of the French revolution to all areas under French control. [10]His measures included freedom of religion, an end to serfdom, and loosening the grip of the Catholic Church on the state. The Napoleonic Code also found itself being implemented in other countries as the source law. However, calamity can strike anytime. Napoleon invaded Russia and despite his hopes of defeating the Russians quickly, saw himself engaged in a long and draining fight with the retreating Russian soldiers. Napoleon was forced to chase the retreating army deep inside Russian soil and when he finally managed to win Moscow, the gravity of the situation dawned on him. He understood that maintaining a garrison in war torn Russia was impossible and ordered a retreat and this decision co incided with the Russian winter, known for its ferocity.   The climate and the shortages of food and shelter took the lives of many soldiers while the remaining fell prey to the resurgent Russian military. Despite all his attempts to resurrect his powerful military machine, Napoleon soon found out that time was not on his side and was soon forced to abdicate following the conquest of Paris in 1814 by the Coalition powers. [11] The years from the start of the revolution to the abdication of Napoleon have had a marked effect on France in particular and Europe in general. He introduced equality and justice throughout the lands he governed and even though France returned to having an emperor, the new King had limited power. Napoleon's wars were followed by the concept of nationalism in Europe that helped shape the future Geo political landscape. In my opinion, the Napoleonic years had a resounding effect on European history and although some of his actions are controversial, it can be argued that he was able to help France move towards a republic. [12] References Baily, J.T. Herbert. Napoleon. London: The Cranford Press, 1908. Bainesville, Jacques. Napoleon. Boston: Little, Brown and Company, 1933. Barnett, Correlli. Bonaparte. New York: Hill and Wang, 1978. Bergeron, Louise. France Under Napoleon. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1990. Bowden, Scott. The Glory Years of 1805 -1807: Napoleon and Austerlitz. Chicago: The Emperor's Press, 1997. Bruce, Evangeline. Napoleon & Josephine. New York: Kensington Books, 1995. Carrington, Dorothy. Napoleon and His Parents. New York: Dutton, 1990. [13] Castelot, Andre. Napoleon. New York: Harper and Row, 1968. Chandler, David G. The Campaigns of Napoleon. New York: Scribner, 1966. Connelly, Owen. The French Revolution and Napoleonic Era. Fort Worth: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1991. Cronin, Vincent. Napoleon. London: Harper Collins Publishers, 1971. Geyl, Pieter. Napoleon For and Against. London: Jonathan Cape, 1957. [1] Bainesville, Jacques. Napoleon. (Boston: Little, Brown and Company, 1933). 53. [2] Chandler, David G. The Campaigns of Napoleon. (New York: Scribner, 1966). 124 [3] Cronin, Vincent. Napoleon. (London: Harper Collins Publishers, 1971). 111 [4] Chandler, David G. The Campaigns of Napoleon. (New York: Scribner, 1966). 126 [5] Bergeron, Louise. France Under Napoleon. (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1990). 225 [6] Baily, J.T. Herbert. Napoleon. (London: The Cranford Press, 1908). 26 [7] Castelot, Andre. Napoleon. (New York: Harper and Row, 1968). 68 [8] Connelly, Owen. The French Revolution and Napoleonic Era. (Fort Worth: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1991). 91 [9] Connelly, Owen. The French Revolution and Napoleonic Era. (Fort Worth: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1991). 123. [10] Cronin, Vincent. Napoleon. (London: Harper Collins Publishers, 1971). 73 [11] Geyl, Pieter. Napoleon For and Against. (London: Jonathan Cape, 1957). 58 [12] Baily, J.T. Herbert. Napoleon. (London: The Cranford Press, 1908). 192

The Stupidest Angel Chapter 15~17

Chapter 15 A MOMENTARY FLASH OF MOLLY â€Å"By the purple horn of Nigoth, I command thee to boil!† screeched the Warrior Babe. What good was a higher power, after all, if he wouldn't help you cook your ramen noodles? Molly stood over the stove, naked, except for a wide sash from which was slung the scabbard for her broadsword at the center of her back, giving the impression that she had won honors in the Miss Nude Random Violence Pageant. Her skin was slick with sweat, not because she'd been working out, but because she'd chopped up the coffee table with her broken broadsword and burned it, along with two chairs from the dining-room set, in the fireplace. The cabin was sweltering. The power hadn't gone out yet, but it would soon, and the Warrior Babe of the Outland dropped into survival mode a little sooner than most people. It was in her job description. â€Å"It's Christmas Eve,† said the Narrator. â€Å"Shouldn't we eat something more festive? Eggnog? How about sugar cookies in the shape of Nigoth? Do you have purple sprinkles?† â€Å"You'll get nothing and like it! You are but a soulless ghost that vexes me and stirs in my mind like spiders. When my check arrives on the fifth, you shall be banished to the abyss forever.† â€Å"I'm just saying, hacking up the coffee table? Screaming at the soup? I think you could channel your energies in a more positive way. Something in the holiday spirit.† In a momentary flash of Molly, the Warrior Babe realized that there was a line she could cross, when the Narrator actually became the voice of reason, as opposed to a niggling voice trying to get her to act out. She turned the burner down to medium and went to the bedroom. She pulled a stool over to the closet and climbed up on it so she could reach to the back shelf. The problem with marrying a guy who was six foot six, is you often find yourself scaling the counters to get to stuff that he placed there for convenience. That, and you needed a riding steam iron in order to press one of his shirts. Not that she did that very often, but if you try to get a crease straight in a forty-inch sleeve once, you're as likely as not to give up ironing altogether. She was nuts already, she didn't need help from trying to perform frustrating tasks After feeling around on the top shelf, brushing over the spare holster for Theo's Glock, her hand closed on a velvet-wrapped bundle. She climbed down from the stool and took the long bundle to the couch, where she sat down and slowly unwrapped it. The scabbard was made of wood. Somehow it had been laminated with layers of black silk, so that it appeared to drink the light out of the room. The handle was wrapped in black silk cord and there was a cast bronze hand guard with a filigreed dragon design. The ivory head of a dragon protruded from the pommel. When she pulled the sword from the scabbard, her breath caught in her throat. She knew immediately that it was real, it was ancient, and it had to have been exorbitantly expensive. It was the finest blade she had ever seen in person, and a tashi, not a katana. Theo knew she would want the longer, heavier sword for working out, that she would spend hours training with this valuable antique, not lock it in a glass case to be looked at. Tears welled up in her eyes and the blade turned to a silver blur in her vision. He had risked his freedom and his pride to buy her this, to acknowledge that part of her that everyone else seemed to want to get rid of. â€Å"Your soup is boiling over,† said the Narrator, â€Å"you sentimental sissy-girl â€Å" And it was. She could hear the hiss of the water hitting the hot burner. Molly leaped to her feet and looked around for a place to set the sword. The coffee table had long since gone to ash in the fireplace. She looked to the bookshelf under the front window, and in that second there was a deafening snap as the trunk of a big pine gave way outside, followed by lighter crackles and snaps as it took out branches and smaller trees on the way to the ground. Sparks lit up the night outside, and the lights went out as the entire cabin shook with the impact of the tree hitting in the front yard. Molly could see the downed power lines out by the road arcing orange and blue through the night. Silhouetted in the window was a tall dark figure, standing there,just looking at her. Although a lot of single people attended, the Lonesome Christmas party was never supposed to have been a pickup scene, an extension of the holiday musical chairs that went on at the Head of the Slug. People did occasionally meet there, become lovers, mates, but that wasn't the purpose. Originally it was just a get-together for people who had no family or friends in the area with whom to spend Christmas, and who didn't want to spend it alone, or in an alcohol-induced coma, or both. Over the years it had become somewhat more – an anticipated event that people actually chose to attend instead of more traditional gatherings with friends and family. â€Å"I can't imagine a more heinous horror show than spending the holidays with my family,† said Tucker Case as Theo rejoined the group. â€Å"How about you, Theo?† There was another guy standing with Tuck and Gabe, a balding blond guy who looked like an athlete gone to fat, wearing a red Star Fleet Command shirt and dress slacks. Theo recognized him as Joshua Barker's stepfather/mom's boyfriend/whatever, Brian Henderson. â€Å"Brian,† Theo said, remembering the guy's name at the last second and offering his hand. â€Å"How are you? Are Emily and Josh here?† â€Å"Uh, yeah, but not with me,† Brian said. â€Å"We sort of had a falling-out.† Tucker Case stepped in. â€Å"He told the kid that there was no Santa Claus and that Christmas was just a brilliant scheme cooked up by retailers to sell more stuff. What else was it? Oh yeah, that Saint Nicholas was originally famous because he brought back to life some children who'd been dismembered and stuffed into a pickle jar. The kid's mom threw him out.† â€Å"Oh, sorry,† Theo said. Brian nodded. â€Å"We hadn't been getting along that well.† â€Å"He sort of fits right in with us,† Gabe said. â€Å"Check out the cool shirt.† Brian shrugged, a little embarrassed. â€Å"It's red. I thought it would be Christmasy. Now I feel –  » â€Å"Ha,† Gabe interrupted. â€Å"Don't worry about it. The guys in the red shirts never make it to the second commercial break.† He punched Brian gently in the arm in a gesture of nerd solidarity. â€Å"Well, I'm going to run out to the car and grab another shirt,† said Brian. â€Å"I feel silly. I have all my clothes in the Jetta. Everything I own, really.† As Brian walked toward the door, Theo suddenly remembered. â€Å"Oh, Gabe, I forgot. Skinner got out of the car. He's rolling in something foul out there in the mud. Maybe you should go with Brian and see if you can get him back in the car.† â€Å"He's a water dog. He'll be fine. He can stay out until the party is over. Maybe he'll jump up on Val with muddy paws. Oh, I hope, I hope, I hope.† â€Å"Wow, that's kinda bitter,† Tuck said. â€Å"That's because I'm a bitter little man,† Gabe said. â€Å"In my spare time, I mean. Not all the time. My work keeps me pretty busy.† Brian had skulked away in his Star Trek shirt. As he opened one side of the double doors, the wind caught the door and whipped it back against the outside church wall with a gunshot report. Everyone turned to watch the big man shrug sheepishly, and Skinner, muddy and wet to the core, came trotting in, carrying something in his jaws. â€Å"Wow, he's really tracking in a mess,† Tuck said. â€Å"I never realized the perks of having a flying mammal as a pet before.† â€Å"What's that he's carrying in his mouth?† asked Theo. â€Å"Probably a pinecone,† Gabe said without looking. Then he looked â€Å"Or not.† There was a scream, a long protracted one, that started with Valerie Riordan and sort of passed through all the women near the buffet. Skinner had presented his prize to Val, dropped it on her foot, in fact, thinking that because she was standing near food, and she was still the Food Guy's female (for who could think of food without thinking of the Food Guy?), she would, therefore, appreciate it, and perhaps reward him. She didn't. â€Å"Grab him!† Gabe yelled to Val, who looked up at him with the most articulate glare he had ever seen. Perhaps it was the weight of her M D. that gave it eloquence, but without a word, it said: You have got to be out of your fucking mind. â€Å"Or not,† Gabe said. Theo crossed the room and made a grab for Skinner's collar, but at the last second the Lab grabbed the arm, threw a head fake, then ducked out of Theo's reach. The three men started to give chase, and Skinner frisked back and forth across the pine floor, his head high and proud as a Lippizaner stallion, pausing occasionally to shake a spray of mud onto the horrified onlookers. â€Å"Tell me it's not moving,† shouted Tuck, trying to cut Skinner off at the buffet table. â€Å"That hand is not moving.† â€Å"Just the kinetic energy of the dog moving through the arm,† said Gabe, having gone into a sort of wrestling stance. He was used to catching animals in the wild and knew that you had to be nimble and keep your center of gravity low and use a lot of profanity. â€Å"Goddammit, Skinner, come here. Bad dog, bad dog!† Well, there it was. Tragedy. A thousand trips to the vet, a grass-eating nausea, a flea you will never, ever reach. Bad dog. For the love of Dog! He was a bad dog. Skinner dropped his prize and assumed the tail-tucked posture of absolute humility, shame, remorse, and overt sadness He whimpered and ventured a look at the Food Guy, a sideways glance, pained but ready, should another BD come his way. But the Food Guy wasn't even looking at him. No one was even looking at him. Everything was fine. He was good. Were those sausages he smelled over by that table? Sausages are good. â€Å"That thing is moving,† Tuck said. â€Å"No, it's not. Oh, yes it is,† said Gabe. There was another series of screams, this time a couple of man-screams among the women and children. The hand was trying to crawl away, dragging the arm along behind it. â€Å"How fresh does that have to be to do that?† Tuck asked. â€Å"That's not fresh,† said Joshua Barker, one of the few kids in the room. â€Å"Hi, Josh,† said Theo Crowe. â€Å"I didn't see you come in.† â€Å"You were out in your car hitting a bong when we got here,† Josh said cheerfully. â€Å"Merry Christmas, Constable Crowe.† † ‘Kay,† Theo said. Thinking fast, or what seemed like it was fast, Theo took off his Gore-Tex cop coat and threw it over the twitching arm. â€Å"Folks, it's okay. I have a little confession to make. I should have told you all before, but I couldn't believe my own observations. It's time I was honest with you all.† Theo had gotten very good at telling embarrassing things about himself at Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and confession seemed to be coming even easier since he was a little baked. â€Å"A few days ago I ran into a man, or what I thought was a man, but was actually some kind of indestructible cybernetic robot. I hit him doing about fifty in my Volvo, and he didn't even seem to notice.† â€Å"The Terminator?† asked Mavis Sand. â€Å"I'd fuck him.† â€Å"Don't ask me how he got here, or what he really is. I think we've all learned over the years that the sooner we accept the simple explanation for the unexplained, the better chance we have of surviving a crisis. Anyway, I think that this arm may be part of that machine.† â€Å"Bullshit!† came a shout from outside the front doors. Just then the doors flew open, the wind whipped into the room carrying with it a horrid stench. Standing there, framed in the cathedral doorway, stood Santa Claus, holding Brian Henderson in his red Star Trek shirt, by the throat. A group of dark figures were moving behind them, moaning something about IKEA, as Santa pressed a .38 snub-nose revolver to Brian's temple and pulled the trigger. Blood splattered across the front wall and Santa threw the body back to Marty in the Morning, who began to suck the brains out of dead Brian's exit wound. â€Å"Merry Christmas, you doomed sons a' bitches!† said Santa. Chapter 16 SO So that sucked. Chapter 17 HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN BAD OR GOOD†¦ While she was horrified by what was going on in the doorway of the chapel, with the gunfire and brain-sucking and the threats, Lena Marquez couldn't help but think: Oh, this is so awkward – both my exes are here. Dale was standing there in a Santa suit, mud and gore dripping onto the floor while he roared with anger, and Tucker Case had immediately headed to the back of the room and dived under one of the folding buffet tables. There was screaming and a lot of running, but mostly people stood there, paralyzed by the shock. And Tucker Case, of course, was acting the consummate coward. She was so ashamed. â€Å"You, bitch!† dead Dale Pearson shouted, pointing at her with the snub-nose .38. â€Å"You're lunch!† He started across the open pine floor. â€Å"Look out, Lena,† came a shout from behind her. She turned just in time to sidestep as the buffet table behind her rose, spilling chafing dishes full of lasagna onto the floor. The alcohol burners beneath the pans spilled blue flame across the tabletops and onto the floor as Tucker Case stood up with the table in front of him and let out a war cry. Theo Crowe saw what was happening and pulled an armload of people aside as Tuck barreled through the room, the tabletop in front of him, toward the throng of undead. Dale Pearson fired at the tabletop as it approached, getting off three shots before Tuck impacted with him. â€Å"Crowe, get the door, get the door,† Tuck shouted, driving Dale and his undead followers back out into the rain. The blue alcohol flame climbed up Dale's white beard, as well as spilling down Tuck's legs as he pushed out into the darkness. Theo loped across the room and reached outside to catch the edge of the door. A one-armed corpse in a leather jacket ducked around the edge of Tuck's buffet-table barrier and grabbed at Theo, who put a foot on the corpse's chest and drove him back down the steps. Theo pulled the door shut, then reached around and grabbed the other one. He hesitated. â€Å"Close the damned door!† Tuck screamed, his legs pumping, losing momentum against the undead as he reached the bottom of the steps. Theo could see decayed hands clawing at Tuck over the edge of the table; a man whose lower jaw flapped on a slip of skin was screeching at the pilot and trying to drive his upper teeth into Tuck's hand. The last thing Theo saw as he pulled the door shut was Tucker Case's legs burning blue and steaming in the rain. â€Å"Bring one of those tables over here,† Theo shouted. â€Å"Brace this door. Jam the table under the handles.† There was a second of peace, just the sound of the wind and rain and Emily Barker, who had just seen her ex-boyfriend shot and brain-sucked, sobbing. â€Å"What was that?† shouted Ignacio Nuà ±ez, a rotund Hispanic who owned the village nursery. â€Å"What in the hell was that?† Lena Marquez had instinctively gone to Emily Barker, and knelt with her arm around the bereft woman. She looked to Theo. â€Å"Tucker is out there. He's out there.† Theo Crowe realized that everyone was looking at him. He was having trouble catching his breath and he could feel his pulse pounding in his ears. He really wanted to look to someone else for the answers, but as he scanned the room – some forty terrified faces – he saw all the responsibility reflected back to him. â€Å"Oh fuck,† he said, his hand falling to his hip where his holster was usually clipped. â€Å"It's on the table at my house,† Gabe Fenton said. Gabe was holding the buffet table that was braced sideways under the double latches of the church doors. â€Å"Pull the table,† Theo said, thinking, I don't even like the guy. He helped Gabe pull the table aside and crouched in a sprinter's stance, ready to go, as Gabe manned the latches. â€Å"Close it behind me. When you hear me scream, ‘Let me in, well – ; Just then there was a crash behind them and something came flying through one of the high, stained-glass windows – throwing glass out into the middle of the room. Tucker Case, wet, charred, and covered with blood, pushed himself up from the floor where he had landed and said, â€Å"I don't know who parked under that window, but you'd better move your car, because if those things climb on it, they'll be coming through that window behind me.† Theo looked at the line of stained-glass windows running down the sides of the chapel, eight on each side, each about eight feet off the ground and about two feet across. When the chapel had been built, stained glass was at a premium and the community poor, thus the small, high windows, which were going to be an asset in defending this place. There was only one large window in the whole building – behind where the altar used to stand, but where now stood Molly's thirty-foot Christmas tree – a six-by-ten-foot large cathedral-shaped stained-glass depiction of Saint Rose, patron saint of interior decorators, presenting a throw pillow to the Blessed Virgin. â€Å"Nacho,† Theo barked to Ignacio Nuà ±ez, â€Å"see if you can find something in the basement to board up that window.† As if on cue, two muddy, decaying faces appeared at the opening through which Tuck had just dived, moaning and trying to get purchase on the windowsill with their skeletal hands to climb in. â€Å"Shoot them!† Tuck screamed from the floor. â€Å"Shoot those fucking things, Theo!† Theo shrugged, shook his head. No gun. Something flashed by Theo and he spun to see Gabe Fenton running hell-bent-for-leather at the window, holding before him a long stainless-steel pan full of lasagna, evidently intent upon diving through the window in a pastafarian act of self-sacrifice. Theo caught the biologist by the collar, stopping him like a running dog at the end of his leash. His arms and legs flew out before him and he managed to hang on to the pan, but nearly eight pounds of steaming cheesy goodness sailed on through the window, scorching the attackers and Pollocking the wall around the window with red sauce. â€Å"That's it, throw snacks at them, that'll slow them up,† shouted Tuck. â€Å"Fire a salvo of garlic bread next!† Gabe regained his feet and jumped right up in Theo's face, or he would have if he had been a foot or so taller. â€Å"I was trying to save us,† he said sternly to Theo's sternum. Before Theo could answer, Ignacio Nunez and Ben Miller, a tall, ex-track star in his early thirties, called for them to clear the way. The two men were coming to the broken window with another of the buffet tables. Gabe and Theo helped Ben hold the table against the wall while Nacho nailed the table to the wall. â€Å"I found some tools in the basement,† Nacho said between hammer blows. Animated dead fingernails clawed at the tabletop as they worked. â€Å"I hate cheese!† screamed the corpse, who had enough equipment to still scream. â€Å"It binds me up.† The rest of the undead mob began pounding on the walls around them. â€Å"I need to think,† Theo said. â€Å"I just need a second to think.† Lena was dressing Tucker Case's wounds with gauze and antibiotic ointment from the chapel's first-aid kit. The burns on his legs and torso were superficial, most of the alcohol fire having been put out by the rain before it could penetrate his clothing, and while his leather bomber jacket had protected him somewhat from his dive through the window, there was a deep cut on his forehead and another on his thigh. One of the bullets that Dale had fired through the table had grazed Tuck's ribs, leaving a gash four inches long and a half inch wide. â€Å"That was the bravest thing I've ever seen,† Lena said. â€Å"You know, I'm a pilot,† said Tuck, like he did this sort of thing every day. â€Å"I couldn't let them hurt you.† â€Å"Really?† Lena said, pausing for a moment to look into his eyes. â€Å"I'm sorry I was – you were –  » â€Å"Actually, you probably couldn't tell, but that thing with the table? Just a really badly executed escape attempt.† Tuck winced as she fastened the bandage over his ribs with some tape. â€Å"You're going to need stitches,† Lena said. â€Å"Any place I missed?† Tuck held up his right hand – there were tooth marks on the back of it welling up with blood. â€Å"Oh my God!† Lena said. â€Å"You're going to have to cut his head off,† said Joshua Barker, who was standing by watching. â€Å"Whose?† Tuck said. â€Å"The guy in the Santa suit, right?† â€Å"No, I mean your head,† said Josh. â€Å"They're going to have to cut off your head or you'll turn into one of them.† Most everyone in the chapel had stopped what they were doing and gathered around Tuck and Lena, seemingly grateful for a point of focus. The pounding on the walls had ceased, and with the exception of the occasional rattling of the door handles, there was only the sound of the wind and rain. The Lonesome Christmas crowd was stunned. â€Å"Go away, kid,† said Tuck. â€Å"This is no time to be a kid.† â€Å"What should we use?† asked Mavis Sand. â€Å"This okay, kid?† She held a serrated knife that they'd been using to cut garlic bread. â€Å"That is not acceptable,† Tuck said. â€Å"If you don't cut his head off,† said Joshua, â€Å"he'll turn into one of them and let them in.† â€Å"What an imagination this kid has,† said Tuck, flashing a grin from face to face, looking for an ally. â€Å"It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.† Theo Crowe came out of the back room, where he'd been looking for something they could use as a weapon. â€Å"Phone lines are down. We'll lose power any minute. Is anyone's cell phone working?† No one answered. They were all looking at Tuck and Lena. â€Å"We're going to cut off his head, Theo,† Mavis said, holding out the bread knife, handle first. â€Å"Since you're the law, I think you should do it.† â€Å"No, no, no, no, no, no,† said Tuck. â€Å"And furthermore, no.† â€Å"No,† said Lena, in support of her man. â€Å"You guys have something you want to tell me?† Theo said. He took the bread knife from Mavis and shoved it down the back of his belt. â€Å"I think you were onto something with that killer-robot thing,† Tuck said. Lena stood up and put herself between Theo and Tuck. â€Å"It was an accident, Theo. I was digging Christmas trees like I do every year and Dale came by drunk and angry. I'm not sure how it happened. One minute he was going to shoot me and the next the shovel was sticking out of his neck. Tucker didn't have anything to do with it. He just happened along and was trying to help.† Theo looked at Tuck. â€Å"So you buried him with his gun? Tuck climbed painfully to his feet and stood behind Lena. â€Å"I was supposed to see this coming? I was supposed to anticipate that he might come back from the grave all angry and brain hungry, so I should hide his gun from him? This is your town, Constable, you explain it. Usually when you bury a body they don't come back and try to eat your brains the next day.† â€Å"Brains! Brains! Brains!† chanted the undead from outside the chapel. The pounding on the walls started again. â€Å"Shut up!† screamed Tucker Case, and to everyone's amazement, they did. Tuck grinned at Theo. â€Å"So, I fucked up.† â€Å"Ya think?† Theo said. â€Å"How many?† â€Å"You should cut his head off over the sink,† said Joshua Barker. â€Å"That way it won't make as big a mess.† Without a word, Theo reached down and picked Josh up by the biceps, then walked over and handed him to his mother, who looked as if she were going into the first stages of shock. Theo touched his finger to Josh's lips in a shush gesture. Theo looked more serious, more intimidating, more in control than anyone had ever seen him. The boy hid his face in his mother's breasts. Theo turned to Tuck. â€Å"How many?† Theo repeated. â€Å"I saw maybe thirty, forty?† â€Å"About that,† Tuck said. â€Å"They're in different states of decay. Some of them just look like there's little more than bone, others look relatively fresh, and pretty well preserved. None of them seems particularly fast or strong. Dale maybe, some of the fresher ones. It's like they're learning to walk again or something.† There was a loud snap from outside and everyone jumped – one woman literally leaping into a man's arms with a shriek. They all fell into a crouch, listening to a tree falling through branches, expecting the trunk to come crashing through the ceiling beams. The lights went out and the whole church shook with the impact of the big pine hitting the forest floor. Without missing a beat, Theo snapped on a flashlight he'd had in his back pocket in anticipation of a power outage. Small emergency lamps ignited above the front door, casting everyone in a deep-shadowed directional light. â€Å"Those should last about an hour,† Theo said. â€Å"There should be some flashlights in the basement, too. Go on. What else did you see, Tuck?† â€Å"Well, they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess.† â€Å"This is ridiculous,† said Val Riordan, the elegantly coiffed psychiatrist, speaking up for the first time since the whole thing had started. â€Å"There's no such thing as a zombie. I don't know what you think is happening here, but you don't have a crowd of brain-eating zombies.† â€Å"I'd have to agree with Val,† Gabe Fenton said, stepping up beside her. â€Å"There's no scientific basis for zombieism – except for some experiments in the Caribbean with blowfish toxins that put people in a state of near death with almost imperceptible respiration and pulse, but there was no actual, you know, raising of the dead.† â€Å"Yeah?† said Theo, giving them an eloquent deadpan stare. â€Å"Brains!† he shouted. â€Å"Brains! Brains! Brains!† came the responding chant from outside; the pounding on the walls resumed. â€Å"Shut up!† Tuck shouted. The dead did. Theo looked at Val and Gabe and raised an eyebrow. Well? â€Å"Okay,† Gabe said. â€Å"We may need more data.† â€Å"No, this can't be happening,† said Valerie Riordan. â€Å"This is impossible.† â€Å"Dr. Val,† Theo said. â€Å"We know what's happening here. We don't know why, and we don't know how, but we haven't lived in a vacuum all our lives, have we? In this case, denial ain't just a river in Egypt, denial will kill you.† Just then a brick came crashing through one of the windows and thumped into the middle of the chapel floor. Two clawlike hands caught the window ledge and a beat-up male face appeared at the window. The zombie pulled up enough so that he could hook one elbow inside the window, then shouted: â€Å"Val Riordan went down on the pimply kid who bags groceries at the Thrifty-Mart!† A second later, Ben Miller picked up the brick and hurled it back through the window, taking out the zombie face with a sickening squish. As Ben and Theo lifted the last of the buffet tables into place to be nailed over the window, Gabe Fenton stepped away from Valerie Riordan and looked at her like she'd been dipped in radioactive marmot spittle. â€Å"You said you were allergic!† â€Å"We were almost broken up at the time,† said Val. â€Å"Almost! Almost! I have third-degree electrical burns on my scrotum because of you!† Across the room, into Lena Marquez's ear, Tucker Case whispered, â€Å"I don't feel so bad about hiding the body now, how 'bout you?† She turned and kissed him hard enough to make him forget for a second that he'd just been shot, set on fire, beaten up, and bitten. For years the dead had listened, and the dead knew. They knew who was cheating with whom, who was stealing what, and where the bodies were hidden, as it were. Besides the passive listening – those sneaking out for a smoke, sideline conversations at funerals, the walking and talking in the woods, and the sex and scare-yourself activities some of the living indulged in in the graveyard – there were also those among the living who used a tombstone as some sort of confessional, sharing their deepest secrets with someone who they thought could never talk, saying things they could never say in life. There were some things that people thought no one else, the living or the dead, could possibly know, but they did. â€Å"Gabe Fenton watches squirrel porn!† screeched Bess Leander, her dead cheek pressed against the wet clapboard siding of the chapel. â€Å"That is not porn, that's my work,† Gabe explained to his fellow partyers. â€Å"He doesn't wear pants! Squirrels, doing it, in slow motion. Pantsless.† â€Å"Just that one time. Besides, you have to watch in slow motion,† Gabe said. â€Å"They're squirrels.† Everyone turned their flashlights on something else, like they really weren't looking at Gabe. â€Å"Ignacio Nuà ±ez voted for Carter,† came a call from outside. The staunch Republican nursery owner was caught like a deer in the flashlights as everyone looked at him. â€Å"I was only in this country a year. I'd just become a citizen. I didn't even speak English very well. He said he wanted to help the poor. I was poor.† Theo Crowe reached over and patted Nacho's shoulder. â€Å"Ben Miller used steroids in high school. His gonads are the size of BBs!† â€Å"That is not true,† exclaimed the track star. â€Å"My testicles are perfectly normal size.† â€Å"Yeah, if you were seven inches tall,† said Marty in the Morning, all dead, all the time. Ben turned to Theo. â€Å"We've got to do something about this.† The others in the room were looking from one to the other, each with a look on his or her face that was much more horrified than when they'd been only facing the prospect of an undead mob eating their brains. These zombies had secrets. â€Å"Theo Crowe's wife thinks she's some kind of warrior mutant killer!† shouted a rotted woman who had once been a psych nurse at the county hospital. Everybody in the chapel sort of looked at one another and nodded, shrugged, let out a sigh of relief. â€Å"We knew that,† yelled Mavis. â€Å"Everybody knows that. That's not news.† â€Å"Oh, sorry,† said the dead nurse. There was a pause; then, â€Å"Okay, then. Wally Beerbinder is addicted to painkillers.† â€Å"Wally's not here,† said Mavis. â€Å"He's spending Christmas with his daughter in L.A.† â€Å"I got nothing,† said the nurse. â€Å"Someone else go.† â€Å"Tucker Case thinks his bat can talk,† shouted Arthur Tannbeau, the dead citrus farmer. â€Å"Who wants to sing Christmas carols?† said Tuck. â€Å"I'll start. ‘Deck the halls†¦Ã¢â‚¬  And so they sang, loud enough to drown out the secrets of the undead. They sang with great Christmas spirit, loud and off-key, until the battering ram hit the front doors.